A Conversation with Lady Fortuna

by Yayaati Joshi

[box]A man who always thinks that he hasn’t got what he deserved lands up having a conversation with Lady Fortuna. While he rattles on about how from childhood to marriage, he has never received the best although he deserved it, Lady Fortuna points to the culprit and the most undesirable human quality that can mar happiness – the man’s arrogance or ego. Here is a story by Yayaati Joshi that shows how someone’s nature or attitude can get formed at a very young age and can go on to even disturb what could have been a good marriage. A discussion on human nature as a big influence at any point in one’s life, including marriage, emerges in this interesting story.[/box]

Happiness eluded him. Success came to him in bits and pieces. Frustrated and disheartened, he sought the help of Lady Fortuna. The following conversation ensued:

Lady Fortuna: I don’t usually entertain such requests, I am very busy making and breaking the fortunes of everyone. It appears that you are dissatisfied with what I have done to you. You should not expect me to be fair; it is against my nature. However, in an unprecedented manner, I have personally come to meet someone. What is it that you want?

Man: Firstly, I thank you for coming to meet me. I have led an unhappy life. I haven’t been a bad person, then why did you have to make my life so miserable? Ever since I was born, you have disappointed me, and as if that wasn’t enough, you always kept me in the company of happier people. Why?

Lady Fortuna: Well, well, well! Let’s take a look at how things began. It’s been so long! And have I been so unfair to you? Do you remember the first time you realised that I existed? You were eight years old, a somewhat shy child, but bright nevertheless. You had to participate in a swimming competition in school. You lost, and well, I expected it! Such a young boy isn’t expected to be competitive. But that pang of jealousy you suffered surprised me. You really wanted to win the first prize, didn’t you? If I wanted, you could have won easily. In fact, had I realised that you would have a heartburn, to do this day, you would have won it.

Man: I realised and acknowledged your existence. I just didn’t know what to call you. As I grew older, you kept playing games with me, didn’t you? I had been a rather sharp chap, I tried so hard to be the school topper, but why would you let my rival have the title? And if that wasn’t enough, the only girl I was infatuated with, fell for him, not me! Why? Wasn’t I a decent person?

Lady Fortuna: The less said about your infatuation, the better! Infatuation, yes that’s what you would call it! I guess it is too much to expect of a man to own up to the fact that he has uncontrollable carnal urges. Your arrogant nature would have made the girl unhappy, and anyway, at the age of 16, do you really expect to ‘fall in love’? You were pompous about your academic achievements; you ‘flaunted’ you marks all the time. To you, relationship with that girl was an opportunity to display your achievements, not a meaningful emotional pursuit. Once when you were asked to help another student in your class with an assignment, you refused point blank. You said that you had no patience for underperformers. How do you think the girl would have reacted to that? How would she feel comfortable with a person with no empathy?

You worked hard, and got credit for it. After all, weren’t your grades good?

Being the second best is not such a bad thing after all…

Man: (interrupting in a dismayed tone) How could I accept the ‘second best’ tag? The taboo of being anything less than ‘perfect’ is so distressing. I wanted to be the best so that I could impress the girl. And I was just as good as him. I really deserved her. Yes, there are sexual urges, and yes at times they are uncontrollable, so what? Does that denigrate my emotion? Let’s forget that. What about college? Didn’t I deserve a better job, based on my grades? Wasn’t I well prepared to shoulder the responsibility of an employee? And what did I get? A mediocre job! I was a subordinate to those who weren’t as educated as I was. Why such iniquity? Fine, I understand the importance of hierarchy, but I deserved a promotion. I deserved an increment. I put my heart and soul into the job. I left everything. I gave up all my hobbies, all trivial pursuits. I felt so discouraged to see that I wasn’t earning as much as other people; people who weren’t half as capable as I was. My self image was so poor. It still is. I wanted to be the best. I had the ambition to be at the top…

Lady Fortuna: (interrupting) ‘Want’ is perhaps the most delusional desires of all. You must understand that the easiest waytodisappoint yourself is to have expectations, either from others or from yourself − worst of all, from me. You weren’t the only one who wasn’t being paid as much as he ‘deserved’. There are people who are jobless, and some of them are more capable than you are. See, all you talk about is money! If your ambition was to be the best, you should have aimed for excellence, not for financial gains. It wasn’t your desire to be the best that stopped me from bestowing happiness to you − it was your ego. Your arrogance – the way you discount your superiors’ experience and the way you always consider yourself more capable than everyone around you – offended me.

Although I shouldn’t have done that, I did consider getting you promoted. But your disdain for me and for my far-reaching powers was unpardonable. It was almost as if you wanted to subvert my importance. Not that I particularly seek retribution, but it was important for me to make you realise your limitations. I still ensured, betraying my instincts to be mean, that you live a comparatively better life, and yet, you complain!

Man: Ah, a “comparatively better life”! What about my marriage? I couldn’t get a good looking wife. Now isn’t that a basic expectation? My parents arranged my marriage. I got married to a girl I had barely met. Yes, she is a devoted housewife, but I would have preferred a wife who works and contributes towards the family expenditure. She is a good cook, but that doesn’t cut it. I would have wanted my wife to be a career woman. This girl I got married to is so common! She has no aims in life. She wants to spend the rest of her life as a parasite, watching television and cooking food, living her life on my hard-earned money. Isn’t that shameful? Surely a person with one iota of self-respect would want to fend for himself. Now, how can I make her understand this? Being her husband, I am supposed to take care of her, but how can I do that when I don’t respect her? If not for me, for her sake you could have ensured that she has some achievements in life, apart from having the distinction of watching television for more that six hours a day for the last two years. When I was getting married, all my friends and relatives made me believe that she would be the perfect match for me. And the marriage has turned out to be a disaster. No, there aren’t any fights. There is dissatisfaction − in its purest form. Dissatisfaction that stares at me, and mocks at me, all the time! Do you realise how ashamed I feel when I take her to an office party? Amidst all the smart women, she looks like a simpering commoner. Knowing that I wasn’t satisfied with my job, you could have at least ‘given’ me a smarter wife…

Lady Fortuna: Little had I known that you would dislike your wife so much. The women you compare her with are the ones who you hate. You can’t stand the sight of your colleagues’ wives. Your ego, as always, stops you from appreciating their achievements. If your wife would have been a working ‘career woman’, you would have, at a subconscious level, competed with her. Your jealousy would have made you so bitter that your worst enemy would have been your wife. You consider women weaker and less competent than men. You attribute a woman’s accomplishment to her alleged compromising nature. In short, you are a male chauvinist. A devoted housewife, for you, is an aimless woman. Do you know, while you slog for your promotions at work, she prays that you have a brighter career? Do you know how dedicated she is as a housewife? Your house, in her absence, looks filthier than a pigsty. While you are at work, brandishing your male ego, as a reminder of your insecurities, who do you think wishes for your well being? Your wife! It is shameful that you feel dissatisfied. This feeling that you have been persecuted is a figment of your own imagination. I have done the best that I should have done for you. Life is not meant to be a bed of roses. And you, with all your intellect, should have understood that. It is foolish of you to blame me for your miseries. They are too few to be whined about. I am known for my mood swings, and once in a while, I do something that creates a ‘rags to riches’ story. However, I have been fair to you. You need to think of all the good things that have happened to you. Your continuous complaining has deprived you of the simple joys of life. If you persist in believing that I have been unfair to you, I will not do much to change that opinion. You are as happy as you want to be. It is time for me to leave. Do not expect me to come again; it has been a waste of time…

Saying this, Lady Fortuna disappeared.

The man stood by the window. A gust of wind ruffled his hair. For once, he thought for a while. Reflections that caused a stir in him. Suddenly, he felt as if someone was tiptoeing behind him. He turned around to find his wife with a smile on her face.

His wife held his hand. He looked at her, his eyes somewhat watery, his face somewhat apologetic.

He lowered his head and brought his lips close to her ears. A few words were muttered.

The wife’s eyes sparkled. Her face lit up. Her enthused body was embraced by the man, as she unruffled her husband’s hair. A beginning, perhaps, to better times.

Yayaati Joshi is a man with simple tastes and intense beliefs. Contrary to the bling associated with the capital city, he prefers the company of close friends, an engaging book or an Alfred Hitchcock movie. His placid demeanour is often mistaken for reticence; Yayaati is a self- proclaimed loner, whose recent pursuits include his foray as a budding writer.

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