by Sandhya Ramachandran
I fear I dreamt my entire life!
Facebook doesn’t show any proof,
of my birth, schooling or early college years.
So quickly I make a Twitter profile.
But I never find
the right 140/260 characters
cool, smart, funny, wise, and sexy
all at once.
I need to download
‘How to amp up the social game’
Apparently it is free
and your friends increase
to a thousand in a day!
(And I don’t even have to meet any!)
They tell me
“Insta stories are the shiz, bro”
The editor in me itches
to set the grammar right.
“Lolz,” they reply,
You only live once.
It would have all been amusing
Had interviews not demanded
that my “social” circle be large
that I was “active on all platforms”
I show my new gym membership
I only get laughed at
I am now bitten by the FOMO
Fear Of Missing Out!
“Are you a #powercouple”, a friend asks,
“What is a hashtag doing in a sentence?” I question.
“#Facepalm” is all I hear.
I am afraid I am losing friends,
as others add them up
in dozens of newly unearthed ways of connecting.
My chatty skills are an “#epicfail”
And typing is “null” without shortcuts to emojis.
Apparently, in today’s world
To be “social”,
You simply need to get on the Internet!